No subject needed....just my voice

No subject needed....just my voice

As I write this my mind is wondering and turning over. As a writer I always wanted to do the best stories and secretly spurn out mind blowers like the brilliant writers of our time; past and present ones ranging from A to Z. Earlier on during the hand in period it dawned on me properly that I have not even reached my own peak and had only begin to realise my own voice. The voice I only wanted to use was not the voice I had. I've yet to gain the voice that I so badly wanted. I wanted to be the litererary, omniscient, powerful, every word hits you type but I am far far far from that. There are basic story templates that I cannot even follow because of a lack of reading, attention, basic effort...I'm the only one at fault here, no one else can be blamed.As much as there are the classic questions of what makes a good story writer as well as there being different types of work can be as good as the traditional forms I know that its not the fact that it's a case of my work's quality being questionable but the work itself just not being of a good pedegree. So I will take personal strides to improve before the final year. Maybe I was lying to myself all along about this whole writing thing. Maybe I'm not for this business. An author I will not be or even consider at all. Strangely enough though I will continue to do this in my own time because it is still a great release when the frustration and academic pressure of making it good are taken off (officially next year...hmm).Well now at the moment the usual mix of home, ex friends and current ones, work, my future, the past and my dying university career are on my mind. The other day I was with one of my good friends in wetherspoons and I was more wet then a johnsons baby wipe. I had so much shit on my mind that I couldn't talk about because I just know that certain things should be kept closed for a while. Combine that with tiredness from working everyday and boy.....a mixture of all sorts will happen. A module redemption form came in the post as well and having that on your mind will fucking bite you, It certainly made me a miserable shit for the rest of the day. And I know it probably will not be the last one. Later on in the evening which was spent with my friend after wetherspoon I made more of an effort to be better company in order to deter myself from talking about it completely. There is something that I learnt from my lecturer not long before I handed in my work; Leone made me realise that my own life can be interesting. My life is my own and no one else's. I have my own experiences and if I convey them with clarity and the sheer essence of the events then a good piece can be achieved.I will continue withn the new voice and form before I proceed to improve the one I want so badly. The third and not the first. Boy yesterday I was at work and it was a good thing that I was there because drama once more unfolded. Not needed, unneccessary, uselessness foolishness. Oh and a cat followed me, my sister and my cousin last night. I'll save that for another blog.To be continued, the dodgy academic. xxxx